Fall 2024 Conflict Conqueror Scholarship Winner

Jenna Grace Goedken

Jenna is starting her freshman year of college at Texas State University this year. Jenna understands conflict resolution is, as she puts it, a “two-way street.” Knowing this, Jenna has set herself up for a successful future where she will be ready to deal with conflict as it arises. Congratulations, Jenna, and good luck in the future.

Read Jenna’s Essay:

One of the most significant conflicts I faced in my life was the strained relationship with my stepmom after my parents' divorce. By the time I was 11, my mom remained unmarried, and my dad married my stepmom, Donna. Initially, she tried to win me over by showering me with gifts and attention, which made me feel uncomfortable and unheard. As an 11-year-old, I was still reeling from the shock of my parents' divorce and was extremely close to my mom. I did not understand why this new person was trying to take my mom's place or why she couldn't just accept me for who I was.

The conflict escalated as I began to feel like my stepmom was trying to "buy" my love and attention. I felt like she did not care about getting to know the real me, only about getting me to like her. This created a rift between us, and I started to push her away.

As the years went by, my stepmom continued to try different tactics to get closer to me, but nothing seemed to work. It wasn't until we both realized that conflict resolution is a two-way street that things started to change. We began to understand that we needed to make an effort to understand each other before trying to fix the issues.

My stepmom realized that her approach of buying me gifts and attention wasn't working and that I needed space and time to process my emotions. She started giving me that space, allowing me to come to her on my own terms. It wasn't easy for her; it required patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen. She learned to ask me questions about what I needed and what I wanted, rather than assuming she knew what was best for me.

I, on the other hand, needed to learn how to communicate my feelings more effectively. I realized that I had been shutting down and pushing people away because I didn't know how to express myself in a healthy way. My stepmom's efforts to understand me without forcing it allowed me to open up gradually. It was a slow process, but eventually, we started building a connection.

Looking back, I learned several valuable lessons from this experience. Firstly, conflict resolution is a two-way street; both parties need to be willing to listen and understand each other's perspectives. Secondly, it's essential to approach relationships with empathy and patience. And lastly, effective communication is key; speaking up and expressing oneself in a clear and respectful manner can go a long way in resolving conflicts.

Today, my relationship with my stepmom has come a long way. We still have our disagreements, but we've developed a deeper understanding of each other's needs and boundaries. We have learned to appreciate each other's differences and work together as a team. The experience taught me that even in the most challenging situations, there is always hope for growth and improvement if we're willing to put in the effort.